⭐️
A weekend getaway for four irritating chickadees takes a southbound turn when they feel a little adventurous and break into an abandoned cabin. A creepy doll watches them and they come across a tape recorder which goes into detail about the various evils calling the cabin home. At first, they dismiss it as bullshit but it doesn’t take long for the malicious presence to show itself. Have you seen any of the Evil Dead films? Well, it’s that but with a cast made up of charmless assholes and a seeming disdain for excitement. There’s jittery ghosts, awkward performances, bloody footprints, wretched audio, possession, a chubby demon, some memorable bits of violence, multiple monsters, blood drenched babes, an incredibly stupid scene involving a ghost girl that looks like a music video by an Evanescence knockoff band who has seen The Ring way too many times, the last act appearance of some dude who looks like he should be playing in a rockabilly band and some weak-ass demon POV that just makes you miss Sam Raimi. Extended scenes of pure pointlessness are accompanied by an endless butt-metal guitar riff and sometimes play out in slow motion for some reason. The opening is just a long stretch of nothing, scored by the soundtrack of bitchy girls picking on each other or complaining. Luckily (if that’s the word to use), I watched the “sequel” to this first and since that is one complete shit stain of a film, I could at least say that the original was way better than the movie that followed. That’s faint praise. Getting an impromptu prostate exam from your best friend Lindo’s pet lobster is more enjoyable than Lake Fear 2: The Swamp… which takes place about 1300 miles away from the cabin in this one. I also don’t think there was a lake in this movie and that may be the only connection this has to its sequel. I would recommend it over the second one but I still wouldn’t recommend it… I hope that makes sense.
No comments:
Post a Comment