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Thursday, March 12, 2026

The Borneo Incident (2013) (Malaysia/USA)

⭐️⭐️


A gaggle of adventurous dopes leave the comfort of New York to explore one of their friend’s heritage on the island of Borneo. Deep in the jungle, shit goes south and now survival is all that matters. Outside of the natural horrors contained within any tropical hellscape, there’s plenty of talk about headhunters who lay claim to the dense and tangled vegetation. It’s found footage so at least we can take comfort in knowing these annoying dopes come to a well-deserved end. Plenty of tourist footage of these dinks enjoying Malaysia forces us to spend time with the group who range from mildly pleasant to extremely punchable. Luckily the focal point, Henry, is pretty charming and it’s even a little sweet when we see him reconnect with his estranged family. Too bad he wants to journey deeper into his past and that requires a trip to the jungles his people call home. Listen. I get writing off your vacation expenses by claiming you were making a film but more than fifty fucking minutes of your eighty minute movie being dedicated to shit I wouldn’t want to watch people I know doing is just a little infuriating. The cast is all solid enough (although there is faltering when heavier dramatics are called for) which helps keep things moving but moving through nothing is still making the audience participate in nothing. The jungle is finally entered and shit finally gets interesting because I’m never going to not be impressed by the sights and sounds of the fucking jungle. The group is stalked by something that remains just out of vision and the encroaching dread begins to weigh on the attitude of the friends and semi-annoying derps become full-blown insufferable assbags. A missing guide and poor decisions lead to being lost in the jungle and then finally coming face to face with a threat that’s hiding in the trees. It gets points for where it sets the last-act thrills and it’s easy to pull off an invisible enemy when there’s that much darkness and forest surrounding you… so I begrudgingly applaud that. It’s still way too much vacation and not enough entertainment.

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