Hollywood heartthrob Steve Guttenberg has his hands full when volcanic eruptions in sunny Los Angeles unleash a whole lotta lava-spewing tarantulas. He’s a washed-up actor trying hard to be a family man but mostly failing when it counts. That all changes when the arachnid horrors attack and his family’s lives are on the line. He’s forced to become the hero he always played in the 90s and he’ll learn a thing or two about responsibility on the way. He heads out to find his son (the elderly teenager left the house when his dad no-showed) who is out riding his bike with some buds downtown. His car gets fucked up thanks to lava-spider shenanigans, so he’s forced to car-jack a Hollywood Tours bus (so, bus-jack, I guess) to get to his boy. This also gets him teaming up with a tourist from Des Moines played by Patrick Renna. His son tries to survive, his wife (Nia Peebles from DeepStar Six) kicks some ass and good ol’ Guttenberg puts together a ragtag group of heroes to save the day. Listen, I’m biased when it comes to the Guttes, that’ll never change and I apologize for absolutely nothing. Add some fire-breathing big-ass spiders and no bullshitting when it comes to getting to the action and I’m just happy to be along for the ride. It’s dumb, the CGI blows and nobody is taking anything seriously… which only benefits the journey. Thankfully, it never dips too deep into that whole “wink-wink nudge-nudge” bullshit I hate and it’s way more sarcastic about the industry than usual. Michael Winslow (don’t you worry your little buns, he does a bunch of noises), Marion Ramsey, Danny Woodburn and Ham from The Sandlot add to the vaguely familiar faces who collect a well-deserved paycheck.
No comments:
Post a Comment