⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
Following the swimming pool drowning of her father, Christie Parson has been having some strong nightmares. Her mother (Boom! Lynda Day George) believes the tragedy to be nothing but an accident but Christie has her suspicions and begins to look into things with her boyfriend Steve. This draws the attention of a creepy hooded figure and leads Christie and Steve to the local mortuary run by Christopher George and his son Bill FUCKIN’ Paxton. We already know Hank (his royal badness Mr. George) is into some odd shit after Steve and his buddy spy him running a weird ritual involving black robes, an alter and multiple middle-aged women (Lynda Day George among them) in his storage warehouse. Steve’s buddy also comes across a woman’s corpse stashed in a coffin and ends up murdered with an embalming tool by said hooded and face-painted weirdo (refreshingly, they don’t do much to disguise his identity). Of course Steve just thinks his buddy ditched him, taking his van in the process but grows more concerned as his absence persists. Paxton is a little off and has the hots for Christie and Christie’s mom is fed up with her daughter’s paranoia, suspiciously apathetic to her husband’s passing. Of course, the deeper they dig, the more danger they come into contact with. Roller rink shenanigans, a disbelieving sheriff, Paxton’s prancing skills, Christopher George’s effortless ability to bring charm to his sleaze-ball characters (that may just be my love for the man), Lynda Day George just being there, séances, necrophilia and a menacing villain that actually manages to be creepy (think Bill Paxton [Spoiler! Fuck, sorry.] doing Captain Howdy cosplay) piece together a really enjoyable slasher-ish flick that gives you “the who” but makes you work a little for “the why”. God, I miss Bill Paxton.
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