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Blood surfing is an idea concocted by only the smartest of Reality-TV-addicted brains. You set up a camera, throw chum in the water to get them sharks attracted and then catch some waves with those majestic killers of the sea right below you. Profits are all the small group of entrepreneurs are seeing which is a shame because if they had looked a little harder they may have spotted the big-ass salt-water crocodile viewing them like a Sunday buffet. They get directions from a boat captain with a tragic past (Holy hell! It’s Monster Squad’s Count Dracula, Duncan Regehr!) involving folks getting eaten by said crocodile, who refuses to help at first but once his girl puts up a fuss about the missed payday, Captain John Dirks relents. After a day of successful filming, some crocodile shenanigans get them stranded on an island and more importantly eaten by a giant reptile. They also run into pirates (not the fun kind) which allows for the croc to chomp some folks besides the main cast. Count Dracula, sorry, Captain Dirks comes to the rescue and he’s got a little bit of revenge on the old brain thanks to this beast killing his passengers and ruining his boat adventure business. Dirk’s girl convinces the producer that there’s money to be made in filming the capture and killing of the largest living reptile the world has ever seen. All this will lead to is a diminishing cast. Matt Borlenghi is wonderfully sleazy as the producer, Maureen Larrazabel is incredibly easy on the eyes as a native who falls for the bleach-haired surf addict Jeremy (she gets eaten pretty quickly), Duncan Regehr seems to be having a little fun and the crocodile is delightfully crappy. The head shit-heel goes out in less than stellar fashion, a man gets torn in half and the term “croc-teasing” is used. Is it dumb? Oh you better believe it is but it’s the kind of stupid I like to encourage in my Saturday morning monster watchin’.
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