In a flurry of delightfully cheap digital effects, the Amityville house has finally been exorcised. But instead of the building taking its rightful place in the kingdom of Hell, the damn thing ends up in outer space. Due to his heroic sacrifice, Father Brenna is trapped out there beyond the stars with it. We jump ahead to the year 3015, where the deep space cruiser Wyoming 227 is carrying out its mission of seeking and destroying rogue black holes. Four humans and a… ahem… “cyborg” make up the crew. I appreciate that instead of going the easy route and just having an actor speak like a robot, Mark Polonia decided to throw someone in a fireproof suite, hood and a reflective face mask (I only mention this because it lets us see the film crew more than once) and name it Vox. Anyways, the crew is down to their last missile and after they destroy their final black hole, they’ve been given permission to return home and take in some much-deserved r&r. Unfortunately, just before obliterating their final black hole, they come across the large Dutch Colonial nightmare floating in space. Ignoring the flaming pentagram that just pops up out of nowhere, Vox is sent to the house to investigate. The ship’s doctor feels a presence already on board and is attacked but the captain writes it off as her just being creeped out and experiencing “space stress”. Space stress is a killer, man. Vox meets a demon and malfunctions. The Captain and the doctor head to the haunted space house to get their cyborg back, repurposed laser tag guns in hand. They rescue Vox and find Father Brenna passed out in a closet. Brenna wakes up, strangles the doctor (she’s fine) and runs off. They stop him before he can launch the nuclear missile (which he miraculously knew the launch sequence for) at the house from hell. The crew have a talk with the discombobulated priest, letting him know earth is gone, 2021 is the distant past and he’s billions of miles away from where his home once was. In return, the crew learns just what evil nonsense they’ve gotten themselves tangled up in, even if it takes them a bit to accept what’s actually going on. Possession follows and the demon looks for a way to spread its evil influence across multiple galaxies. This shit is wonderful cheap-seats cinema with ramshackle space effects (green screen heaven is a place) and a spacecraft that is obviously a vacant floor in a business complex. It doesn’t matter, you don’t see the name Polonia and hope for a big budget and accomplished filmmaking, you’re in it because you’re hoping a bit of the amateur dream is still alive and well. Thankfully, this recent chapter of the Polonia epic seems to have a bit of enthusiasm injected into it and it’s magical seeing these big ideas blissfully brought to life for considerably less than the cost of a big studio trailer.
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