Unfortunately, this is not a porno from the 1990s featuring a cast of delightful neon-clad people with wild hair and of bunch body enhancements. Nope. It’s a lame ghost story which borrows a bit from The Night Gallery’s pilot episode… more directly the Roddy McDowell starring The Cemetery segment. Tom’s gambling debts have gotten out of control following the loss of his wife. He goes to stay with his wealthy aunt, hoping to get a place in her will but time is not on his side. Collections are coming and they’re coming fast and hard. He hatches a plan with the local undertaker’s recently divorced daughter (Elodie) to rob the graves of rich townspeople in the nearby cemetery and split the loot. Eerie shit starts going on and Tom thinks he’s being haunted by the dead he’s stolen from but since nobody else is experiencing shit, it may just be the man’s guilty conscience. Standard ghost shit supplies the spookiness and Maria Olsen is there to add just a bit of class to things as Tom’s grieving aunt. She’s a bit theatrical in her acting but I’m always happy to see her hanging around. Anyways, Tom stashed his ill-gotten goods in something called a “bone box” — I guess it’s a small container where the undertaker stores personal possessions of the corpses he’s working on. Tom keeps seeing and hearing things and he becomes desperate to prove he’s not going insane like his recently departed uncle. The sheriff snoops around, lookin’ like a knockoff Michael Biehn, when the neighbors report some suspicious things at the cemetery. The thing goes for moody but it only manages to hit boring for most of the runtime. Our lead seems heavily medicated, the ghosts seem just as bored as we are and I just can’t fathom how anyone looked at this finished product and said: “Yep. That’s it. That’s a winner.”
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