Search This Blog

Sunday, October 25, 2026

The Last Five Days (2020) (USA)

1/2


A detective opens things up with a press conference and lets us know our two heroes are fucking dead and there was a video camera found on the premises. This is the footage… Gregory and Brian are the two college derps who live together and their final project for their film class consists of them doing field work to tell an intriguing story. Luckily for them, the area they call home has some interesting local lore. That night, they head to an abandoned orchard where workers supposedly began losing their minds after spending too much time on the grounds. Gregory annoys, Brian is there and they wander around in darkness trying to add substance to the random crap they come across with rambling dialogue. The next night they head to a mountain (Silly Mountain) where a ghost supposedly pushes hikers off to their deaths because he fell to his death and now he’s a dick in the afterlife. More wandering in the dark and unscripted dialogue follows. There’s also something that was supposed to be comedy but I would never call it that. They find a small wooden box after Brian takes a tumble and when they open it they discover it’s filled with some fruit they came across in the orchard. Brian attempts to recover from his minor injuries but Gregory goads him into continuing their work on the project. They think they’re onto something because they are the only people to discover a connection between the two spooky spots. Even if that connection is just some moldy fruit. Internet research leads to them discovering the fruit is dangerous to consume so, of course, Gregory eats one. Minor poltergeist activity follows immediately. Gregory starts acting weird and we, the viewer at home, are begrudgingly dragged to a limp climax. You’ll definitely be bored and if you’re not, we really need to talk about where you find your entertainment. Take a nap. You need one.

No comments:

Post a Comment