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Danny lives in the woods with his grandpappy, away from the world and living off the earth. Thanks to his mom being contaminated with radiation courtesy of her job at the nuclear plant, Danny has some powers not usually found in bland young dudes. These powers include slurping down live fish (bones and all), starting fires with his hands and glowing in the dark (allegedly). “Superpowers” aside, Danny’s mutated mother is wandering the woods and judging by the danger-induced cross-eyed fits Danny has, she may be psychically connected to her spawn. He discovers some buried drums of nuclear waste at a construction site (the old research facility) and passes out after the birthmark on his neck begins to bulge. His grandpa wakes him up and also discovers his dead daughter’s locket in one of the drums. That locket points towards the shady folks at the nuclear facility knowing a lot more than they let on when it came to the dead mother. There’s also a group of camping “teens” and agents from the nuclear plant looking to tie up loose ends concerning Danny’s dead mama in the woods. This means there is plentiful soon-to-be corpses of the innocent and not-so innocent variety. A mutant varmint bites one of the campers when he’s trying to make sweet, sweet forest love to his lady. The goons kill grandpa right in front of Danny who flees into the woods “His mother must have been a billy goat!” and right into the campers who decide to help him. The girls are almost immediately kidnapped. The kidnappers are almost immediately slaughtered. The girls almost immediately get back to their boyfriends. Well, that was mostly pointless. The bitten guy is obviously in trouble but his friends don’t seem to thinks it’s all that big of a deal. Danny decides vengeance is the only way to go and then meets back up with the scared campers who are just kinda sticking around. The bitten guy loses it and begins to mutate. About halfway through, the movie feels like it reaches its natural conclusion and then jumps ahead ten years to New York. Danny suffers from nightmares he doesn’t want to talk to his girlfriend about. There’s a whole lot of trauma there and he’s terrified of the future he will be providing for he and his gal. Danny starts showing physical mutation and in those woods from a decade earlier some hunters try to store beer in a sealed drum of nuclear waste and unleash evil. Danny has a psychic link with this evil, so he knows that a problem has arisen and this time it ain’t his mama. Aerobics, construction, death and heroics are all gonna play their part. With a script in tow that may have been pieced together by a dozen monkeys given a writing prompt, this flick feels like a mess but that ain’t a bad thing. The stupidity is born from a heart located in the right B-movie location and some cheap but fun special effects make it a hell of a lot easier to overlook any scripting issues. It comes off like a comicbook movie based off of something from a universe that is slightly dumber than ours and I’m shockingly fine with that.
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