This home-video-nightmare involves a mad scientist creating a killing machine and unleashing it on a small town. The creator is the first victim but it doesn’t take long for the towering ghoul in a cheap Halloween mask to wander around slaying idiots with a meat tenderizer as he chases some dude who stumbled across his massacre of a couple dinks. Cheap violence to random idiots runs its course, unlicensed music plays over the soundtrack, low-level comedy pops in to say hello and our hero looks like someone who was kicked out of a Nickleback cover band. Halfway through, a text crawl (read by a narrator putting on a serious voice) let’s us know why things happened and then we’re back to the “action”. This leads to a poorly-choreographed fight that keeps going and then more of the longest chase in recorded home movie history. Bernard Hermann and Scatman John play over a fight in the snow, more narration fills us in on why this thing is still going, a video store makes a cameo and stupidity escalates. Low-res visuals combine with a damaged audio track to create an atmosphere akin to what I imagine it would be like if Lucifer had sleep paralysis and telepathically channeled his fear into your head. Eventually it ends and I’m left wondering why this tortuous garbage makes me smile so much. Doze off, you won’t miss anything. It’s way too long but somehow it’s just dumb enough to avoid being discarded in the dumpster and set on fire.
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