The Return (1980) (USA)

aka Earthright/The Alien’s Return 

⭐️⭐️

25 years after a childhood encounter with an alien spaceship, a boy and girl are reunited in a small town in New Mexico now beset by cattle mutilations. Wayne and Jennifer (Jan-Michael Vincent and Cybill Shepherd, respectively) fall for each other and into trouble when those mutilations begin happening to humans. Another witness (Vincent fuckin’ Schiavelli!) to the visitation from two decades ago (and the spraying of some strange red mist) is in communication with some unknown force. Jennifer is working for her father (Raymond fuckin’ Burr!) at some satellite company and sent back to the spot of the encounter after odd readings raise some alarms. Wayne never left and is now a deputy marshal in the nowhere spot working under Martin fuckin’ Landau! sporting a mustache and laid back attitude. The town is pretty much run by a modern day land baron (Neville fuckin’ Brand!) and his idiot son who is definitely suffering from affluenza and they are none too happy about their livestock getting murdered. Schiavelli turns out to be the culprit and he wanders around with his dog, wielding some glowing alien technology (like a probe but not used for the usual rectal experimentation) and murdering man and livestock with cold efficacy. The cattle men confront Jennifer when they find her monitoring device and accuse her of killing their means of income. Urged on by the spoiled brat (who seems like he may be a bit psychotic), the men attack the scientist and get pretty damn near to raping her. Luckily, Wayne steps in and after a nightcap, the two finally come to realize they’re tied together by that past encounter. More murders, more Landau acting like a charming bumpkin, more Burr obviously reading off of a teleprompter and more stupidity than one could ask for from their 70’s alien conspiracy documentaries. The Feds show up and a vortex is discovered in a cave. Martin Landau loses his arm and one of the lamest confrontations in film history goes down between the two Vincents. The stellar cast is let down by an endlessly dumb film that really wants to be a 70s style conspiracy thriller but lacks the thrills and professionalism those flicks were so damn good at. There’s still enough stupidity to keep you awake, Cybill Shepherd is always watchable and the ending blows so hard it almost becomes worth it.