Following the sudden death of her father, Beth has her mother stay with her and promises to keep her at-home beauty salon running. I think everyone is pretty sad outside of a few bitchy friends but it’s hard to make out much over the constant straining one does to hear the dialogue. Beth goes on a walk with her hot friend and wanders into a one-of-a-kind shop run by a chubby creep who looks like Robert Goulet by way of Francis Buxton. The guy sells Beth a big-ass crystal that she believes to be some bullshit New Age nonsense. The crystal makes a visiting priest ill, so we know right off the bat that the crystal has some evil vibes. If we needed more proof, the priest is attacked by a mental force and excuses himself. Not one to do anything intelligent, Beth does not put two and two together and keeps the crystal. Evil POV swooping and a sex dream starring a pasty man ass (her fiancé’s if you must know) and plenty of tears hit that same night. There’s an all-girl fortune telling party that leads to a séance (uh oh) and the creepy fat guy pops in from time to time to say sinister shit to his dogs… just to let us know he’s evil… if the name Beazle was enough of a giveaway. It’s not long after the séance that a demon starts attacking the friends. A sexual assault via demon, narration from Beazle, vanishing blood-drinking canines and enough bad acting to fill a mid-90’s porno will probably keep you on your toes but you’ll be forgiven if you choose sleep as a viable option. There’s also a sex scene that feels like it was filmed years prior and they decided to build a film around the unused footage and there’s a few bewbs popping up every so often… there’s also more than one lengthy walk taken… so… win? It’s like watching an aunt you only see at family gatherings recollect a movie she saw on TV when she was a younger woman. It’s only interesting because it feels like half-formed memories of something that may have been exciting but also may not have ever existed. Should you see it? No. Would I recommend it? Probably. It exists in the strange area of “how did this happen?” and barely being watchable.
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