⭐️1/2
A caravan campsite is located on some bad land which is supposedly the same land where that infamous house once stood. There’s now a scarecrow set up there and some abandoned camper-vans. Welp, that scarecrow be alive and that scarecrow be a fan of murder by scythe. Two estranged sisters have inherited some land following their mum’s passing and begrudgingly meet up with their families in tow to discuss what to do with the property. One wants to sell and one wants to reopen and everyone is pretty unlikable. The one sister who slept with the other sister’s husband wants to use the land to honor their mother and rebuild a relationship with her rightfully pissed-off sister. She’s given a year to turn the land around before selling it off. It doesn’t even bother to hide that it’s not taking place anywhere near the titular location but that’s probably because it has nothing to do with the Amityville series and may not even be the same Amityville because when you’re looking for distribution whats a lie or two matter. At least, I assume, I’m not going to do any research because it’s already pathetic enough I’m just not turning this bad boy off and doing something worthwhile. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah; so the cousins begin rebuilding their friendship and stumble across a shed where there’s photos of children with X’s drawn over their faces… so far, so normal for an RV campsite. There’s a whole lotta talkin’, a good amount of walkin’, a lame score to go along with the lame drama and some past trauma to go with the family secrets. Luckily, the scarecrow stuff is kind of fun in a cheap-ass horror way and it saves the movie from being complete ass. The thrills just won’t come and even at 88 minutes it feels like it runs 30 minutes too long.
No comments:
Post a Comment