Two years after the death of his wife, Richard Hagen realizes he needs to be a better father (that’s a lot of time those grieving kids had to fend for themselves) and moves on out to the boonies with his two kids and new special lady, Paige. He buys a home for cheap doing no research on it and not questioning the suspicious asking price. He spends the rest of summer cleaning up the place with Paige (montage to Runaround Sue commences) before picking up his kids from grandma’s. A few nights in and Paige gets freaked out when she hears the sound of children playing in the empty home. Daughter Cindy and son Tommy arrive at the house shortly after, remarkably satisfied with the new living situation. Cindy takes to the piano left over from the previous owners. I thought that would play into things more because earlier in the film the couple talk about the piano and Paige decides they should get rid of it but it doesn’t so whatever. At this point, the woman telling this story to a journalist warns her that “If you move into a house infected by demons, don’t expect to get approached by them at your first nights at the house.” That could have been said better. Phantom knocking wakes Paige up one night and she goes to check when she can’t seem to rouse Richard. A slammed door gets her locked outside where she hears the voices of her family chatting and then sees them and herself in the kitchen. Paige wakes up from the nightmare when dream Paige looks right at her. This is supposed to be shocking, I guess, because there’s a musical sting over an image of a spooky tree when she reveals she looked at herself in the dream. Cindy lets Tommy know she’s experiencing strange shit in the house but he laughs it off, thinking his big sister is trying to spook him. Cindy just happens to have grabbed a Ouija board while at grandma’s and she plans on using it to communicate with her mother. Tommy joins her and contact is made with something that is not their mama. Whatever it is thanks them for opening the door and things get scary in a price-conscious way. Spooky ghost girl sticking to the shadows? You better believe it! Whispering voices and moving objects? Of course, ya sorry son of a bitch! Auditory chaos coming from electronic devices? What do you think, ya old pile of crap! Something stanky causing problems, even for the police? You dirty dog, you know it’s going down! A neighbor clues the couple in on the short stay of the previous occupants and a priest (who is somehow Jeffrey Wright, Jon Polito and David Zayas all rolled into one with none of the talent) gets called in for a failed blessing and the inevitable exorcism that reveals a bunch while coming off as a pale imitation of every cinematic exorcism that has come before. Ashes of a murdered woman are discovered and a brief history is given by whoever it is that’s narrating this tale to the journalist. Something about a mother killed by her husband and children for Satanic reasons or something. So take your bog-standard haunted house flick that eventually becomes a possession experience and have it performed by a cast that may be speaking English and communicating with another human for the first time in their lives. That’s it. That’s the movie. Lara Jean Mummert-Sullivan may not be the best of actors but she at least has a natural likability, so you can at least sympathize a little as she begins seeing things her man can’t see even if she can’t convincingly relate this to an audience. That’s not supposed to sound mean, she’s the best thing this movie has going for it. The climactic inept exorcism is great for all the wrong reasons and I’ll take any small victory I can. The obvious reveal and lazy wrap up should cause a disapproving head shake and maybe a smirk.
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