1/2
On the (very early) morning after an intense Halloween party that looks like the exact opposite of any party I’d ever want to attend, a buck-naked dude walks into a bathroom to piss. He tells a black cat to go fuck itself and then steps on broken glass. Limping his way over to the room where two folks are having the kind of unconvincing sex people have been having in Euro-horror films for decades, he complains of his current issue and demands someone get him a rag. The man throws up on the woman riding him and the sex expectedly ends. The girl runs off to shower. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. The trio of (maybe) humans carry on like it’s their first day on Earth but that may have something to do with English being a second language to these folks. I don’t think it changes the fact that they’re all idiots. As the guy pulls the glass out of his foot, he notices a naked corpse on the skylight. Her topless body soon falls through when the glass breaks. Now they’re all wondering just what the fuck happened to this “girl”. Lenka (having successfully showered off her man’s vomit) recognizes her as her friend Elizabeth. Everyone argues and may have brain damage. We jump back in time to piece together the story and find out what the hell just happened… in between the present where the unlikable dinks wander around acting like morons. Drug dealer Duke and his very drunk friend leave Lenka with the corpse to make a drug deal with a gang of roving goths who they rob when their leader claims he needs some leeway on paying. They then walk off and Duke spits some rhymes before hitting the bar run by the very drunk guy’s midget landlord. He demands the rent and the two leave. The most non-threatening gang of goths return, having followed the duo and run off, satisfied with knowing where they live. Lenka is missing but there’s blood on the bedsheets and most of the damage has been cleaned up. They find her smoking dope and listening to music in an “antique bathroom” that’s in the apartment. The overflowing water in the bathtub contains the corpse of her friend. This upsets Duke for no discernible reason and he tries to drown Lenka. The next scene has the dudes goofing around in the bathtub while Lenka blow dries the corpses hair. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. Elizabeth was a vlogger, so they begin to go through her footage to get to the bottom of things but it’s a whole lot of dumb fucking hijinks and nudity. There will be more death, racism, sweat, sex on the opposite end of erotic and character actions that make no god damn sense. The reveal is somehow worse and dumber than even I was expecting. Of course there’s still plenty of time left for things to get even more daft. If this film had come out a decade later, I’d swear an AI program was responsible for the script. Instead we have to point the finger at fuckin’ Ruggero Deodato and whatever dinks he was working along with on this inept screenplay. Some unintentional laughs save it from the lowest pit of genre damnation but it is dangling right on the fucking edge.
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